| Well shit... i havent wrote in this thing in years... i think this might get down and dirty... well... things have been a roller coaster... i get really happy to just get shut down... then i get really sad... ive met some really sweet kids this year at clay... if i wouldnt of met them... im sure clay would be the gayest thing... cuz i only see jared and britney the most.... god how i hate all the kids at clay... line ups are changing... im changing as a fact... i do miss somethings... but yet again... this is online... so maybe i should just go back to my paper journal... but yet this is so much easyer to type then write.... ahhh.... i dunno anymore... only wanted to write in this cuz it sparked my mind... when i was talking to someone about it.... |
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| heres the day i lay my thoughts to rest... ill never forget the way you looked... ill admite i miss you more then anything... but its my fault i cared so much i didnt wanna make you cry.... and now your not crying your dying.... i wish i wasnt alive... ill never be able to smile in the hallways... yes this is all true... i do and will always love you... i know im not the perfect person in the world... but i dont understand myself... i thought i had it all figured out... but i guess i was lying to myself... this isnt some sappy post... its the thoughts ive been holding in... ive done so much wrong... can you even tell me where i did some right?.... this isnt how i wanted it to be... but i deserve it more then anything in the world... ill make the cross and carry it 88 miles to the place where i can tell the story of my life... then ill let you put the nails threw my body... im sorry to everyone that has came in contact with me... if ive done something wrong ill write sorry on every blank page... i guess im running around with my head cut off... thinking one day ill find the happyness of my life... when really its all been right in front of me... ive limit myself to so lil of friends so it would be easier to keep up... but not even with the limit can i keep up.... my whole life i wished to be happy and when i finly get what i want im to blind to see it... and push it far away into nothing.... i wish i could speak to myself... and ask myself what is wrong with me... this isnt for you all to read and feel sorry for me... its what im trying to tell you... IM DOOMED TO BE THIS FUCK UP.... i havent take my meds in 2 days... well cuz i forgot... this is why my brain is working tell me the truth... not making everything seem okay... id do anything to start over from day one.... june 9th 1988... id rewrite so much and make things work better then they are now... this is just a simple wish... ill never see it... soo ill start now and try to fix everything.... |
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| well well niggers... what is going on... me and britney got pierced up.... yeah it was fun... im not here to write about that.... im here to write about shit.... that brothers me at this moment... ill write about the piercing expertions with britney later... so why hello ass holes... yeah i missed you 2... fuck no i didnt i hate you.... im not in the best of moods my mind went fucked once again WOW can you believe it on meds and every thing for it and its still happening... maybe im just a the fuck up i thought i always was... .and i should be shoved back to the grave i came from... blah... i just wanna get on some heavy drug that just stop me from thinking all together im done later... |
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| "just another day with a broken smile"
Well hello kiddies.... longs has happen lots..... i dont really know what to write about..... sum sad stuff happen with someone..... i hope things go well.... and other then that im bored blah kiss my feet niggers peace out beep! |
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